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Thursday, April 09, 2009

NSE Stockbrokers on the run

Handful of Stockbrokers Spotted Miles from Somali Border


Garissa, Thursday In light of the impending crackdown by the Micah Cheserem led Capital Markets Authority (CMA) and the declining index, owners, managers and staff of the remaining Nairobi Stack Exchange (NSE) stockbrokerage firms disappeared from the city bourse on Monday. Reports indicate that they are headed for the Somali border. They robbed motorists, pedestrians and hapless farmers along the way, and asked them to seek compensation from the Discount Securities receiver managers, Francis Thuo and Nyaga compensation fund.


Calling themselves the Stock Market Defence Force (SMDF), the stockbrokers were first spotted Monday night crossing Chania River in Thika, after they traded each of the towns 1,000 plus kiosks by borrowing from the kiosk owners and selling their stock. By late Tuesday morning, the SMDF had arbitrarily inflated each of the kiosks’ accounts, and declared a good return on the sale of the kiosk stock.


By afternoon, the financial militiamen had reached Meru town, transferred its miraa trade to a unit trust and sent a bill to the Ministry of Agriculture for KShs 89 million. Police officers on patrol and ‘high’ miraa traders watched helplessly as the SMDF went about its business.


"The police would like to reassure the general public that we are looking for the SMDF financial militiamen and they will face the law once we catch them,” said police spokesman Eric Kiraithe, “they even hide in commercial banks, we’ve been searching for them all morning. If we don’t catch them by late evening, we will have to issue a shoot to kill order against them and send in the military.”


Reached on phone for comment, Jimnah Mbaru, the self-styled commander of the SMDF laughed off the threat by the police. “We have far more sophisticated weapons than the police,” said Jimnah. “We have share certificates and registers, CDS accounts and even a semi-automatic NSE Wide Area Network.”


The police however intimated that they expected to have some level of success in the coming days by preying on a common stockbroker weakness. "We will disguise a policewoman as a KTN or NTV news host, or another local celebrity and see," said Mr. Kiraithe. "She will be irresistible to the SMDF and its leadership."


In addition to the police manhunt that has crippled business and normal life in Central, Eastern and parts of North Eastern Provinces, teams of CID officers have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the plains around Mount Kenya for telltale sounds of the SMDF. "Most of the time we just hear leaves rustling or someone munching miraa," said Kiraithe, "but occasionally we'll pick up someone saying, 'I was very lucky to get out of Nairobi on time, the CMA were coming.'"


While some SMDF stragglers are believed to have successfully crossed into Somalia, Kiraithe said the bulk of the SMDF militiamen and its leadership are currently holed up in guest houses in Garissa town.

42 comments:

viviennembehnke said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shuga Blog said...

I just bumped into your site. Very informative. I shall become a follower. Keep it up

20111 said...

人生的價值以及他的快樂,都在於他有能力看重自己的生存..............................

餐廳 said...

I love readding, and thanks for your artical.........................................

別跟我說 said...

TAHNKS FOR YOUR SHARING~~~VERY NICE ........................................

茂一 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
邱志誠 said...

Joy often comes after sorrow, like morning after night.......................................................

1208茹宣dinoreale said...

對物要珍惜,對事要盡心,對人要感恩。 ..................................................

志源 said...

Well done!........................................

誠侑 said...

TAHNKS FOR YOUR SHARING~~~VERY NICE ........................................

劉claren0812ceb_brunette said...

一棵樹除非在春天開了花,否則難望在秋天結果。...............................................................

bantutu said...

LOL! Stacko its been a while, you abandoned this ishh?

stackofstiffys said...

@Shuga: Welcome aboard, I will try and do more posts soon
@Bantutu: Time has been very elusive man, I guess I need to set aside an hour everyday to write. How have you been keeping?

Br1207yantScipio1 said...

量力而為,別勉強了,Cut your coat according to your cloth..............................................

NealVa憲妤 said...

來看看你逛逛blog囉,加油! ........................................

俊蘇宏 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
誠紋 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LatoshaDelapena0209嘉瑜 said...

I guess I will need a lot.................................................................

俊偉 said...

期待你每一篇文章......................................................................

江婷 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。......................................................................

江婷 said...

一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼.................................................................

堅強堅強 said...

當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

ju吳phe宇te佳ns said...

安一估~你也安一估哦~............................................................

于倫 said...

Readiness is all.............................................................

黃惠雯 said...

Riches serve a wise man but command a fool.............................................................

楊儀卉 said...

Prevention is better than cure...................................................

陳佑發 said...

不會從失敗中找尋教訓的人,成功之路是遙遠的。..................................................

文郭ss華賴ss添卉顏俊s任 said...

可愛的小天使~~~支持你~~~..................................................................

佳瑩佳瑩 said...

找一個懂妳的人也期許自己做一個人懂別人的人~.........................................

魏智偉魏智偉 said...

Learn wisdom by the follies of others.............................................................

凱v胡倫 said...

人生中最好的禮物就是屬於自己的一部份............................................................

家唐銘 said...

你不能左右天氣,但你可以改變心情.................................................................

謝翁穎翰毓珍 said...

愛,拆開來是心和受兩個字。用心去接受對方的一切,用心去愛對方的所有。......................................................................

秀李李迪秀李李迪 said...

做好事,不需要給人知道,雖然只是一件微不足道的事,但我相信,這會帶給我快樂。..................................................

淑倫惟芳 said...

與人相處不妨多用眼睛說話,多用嘴巴思考,............................................................

王丁佳燕文均 said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

凱許倫 said...

每次心情跌到谷底,就對自己說:休息一下再重新開始吧............................................................

張韓涵旺建宇 said...

愛情不是慈善事業,不能隨便施捨。.................................................................

王志陳雅竹豪 said...

上來打聲招呼,祝你一切平安!............................................................

said...

祝大家都平平安安健健康康!............................................................

翊翊翊翊張瑜翊翊翊 said...

謝謝大大的分享 我會學會反省與寬容 感恩 ∩△∩............................................................

怡靜怡靜怡靜怡雯 said...

我是天山,等待一輪明月。......................................................................